do you even miss me

can we skip to the part where
the growing is over,
the pain has subsided,
each bone is stretched
to its greatest capacity.

but is it that easy
for feelings to calcify.

so i wait, or
sometimes wallow,
impatient in the gray.
too far from who i am,
too close to
who i might be.

in my dreams i ask,
do you even miss me?
when i wake i wonder
if there’s anyone left to miss.